Thursday, January 10, 2008♥
7th day ♥ 11:36 PM
its been a week since her demise. too short a period but which seems like forever for the days to pass. her absence at home makes this small house too quiet. something that i've not been used to. and im trying hard to find all the excuses to stay out. yet at the same time, the strings to my heart are tugged at the presence of the other cat. at times i feel like a mother of two, who just lost her beloved child and now has to struggle to shower her love to the other, and trying hard not to be too overprotective. and at this, when the heart is actually yearning and mourning over the dead one. sleepless nights, and all the tears just thinking about her. regrets for taking things for granted, for i always thought she will lived to the day i got married. the subconcious mind will always stray when im deep in thoughts but i try hard to stop myself from picturing her lifeless form.
and yes, everything was a mistake. i made a mistake in misjudging people. especially bf. at the point of time when i feel like letting myself drop down from high above, i chose to do it out of my own accord. i realised that many hands were stretched out offering themselves to me, yet i chose to shut my eyes. i ignored the help given to me. it has been like this before, and maybe it will stay that way. the biggest mistake ever.
and indeed i am sorry for misjudging and mistreating bf in every sense.
So close..
