Sunday, June 29, 2008♥
of happy thoughts ♥ 1:44 PM
The way to Happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Fill your life with love. Scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others. Do as you would be done by. Try this for a week and you would be surprise.
- H.C. Mattern
Indeed it is true that all the hate, fear, worry, complexity and all the other negative energies of the world would impede one's ability to sincerely live life to the fullest. i always want to be in a picture perfect scenario, always wanting to lead a life that was devoid of faults or imperfections. How could i when i myself cant even face up to my own mistakes. Maybe it has always been easier to put the blame on someone else or rather expecting someone else to change instead of myself. I`ve always wanted to be this little miss perfect for my parents that all along i`rarely had the chance to live life the way i want.
So close..
Sunday, June 22, 2008♥
crash and burn ♥ 11:06 PM
when the car suddenly swerved at the roundabout at BKE-PIE, for a moment i wished that it would overturn instead of just hitting the railing. i wished that my brother and i would be inflicted with serious internal injuries and just die on the spot.
better than anything.
So close..
Saturday, June 21, 2008♥
yes? no? i dunno. ♥ 9:49 AM
im still undecided whether i should turn up later or not. sigh. its been terrible. the ordeal has been torturous. though ive been smiling and been going out with different people, everything stays different.
So close..
Friday, June 20, 2008♥
of age gaps ♥ 11:46 AM
It is really sad that when ive been the one trying my very best to be accepted here, and all i get in return is just a wish. It's that bad because i remembered giving away my last dollar, feeling hungry just so my i can get dinner for my dad. or the time when i had to rushed down to town to get her a gift, just so she felt she meant something.
and what did he get. an expensive psp. and me? not even something i really really need. ok cool. and im the one who turned 21.
So close..
Thursday, June 19, 2008♥
happy 21st. ♥ 8:27 PM
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FARHANA.
17 June 2008, 12.37am, after daily debrief
- thank you god for letting me breathe this air for 21 years. i will never know when the day will end for me, but i will always know my purpose till the end.
- thank you for opening up my eyes today, letting me realise my worth.
- thank you for surrounding me with people who love me as much as i love them.
and no special request this year god,
for i only want things to be. i believe there's a reason to everything that happened these past few months.
So close..
Tuesday, June 10, 2008♥
aftermath ♥ 11:53 PM
dear god, pls give me the strength to move on to better things in life. make me the girl i was many many years ago. the same one who had dreams and yet have the capability and motivation to achieve them. dear god, show me the signs to make the right decisions. pls guide me towards becoming a better person, one who is wise and generous, never putting herself first.
today i woke up thinking of you, wondering if you`re doing the same. how should i put my message across. though on the day that i left, you told me that you love me, i still wonder if it came from your heart or was it an obligation you felt you had to do to someone you already had as a girlfriend. i was so eager to check my mail. everyday i looked forward to the time we checked into the hotel, and finally today on the third night i was able to check my mails. unfortunately, nothing came from you. how dampened i became, but i still fight the urge to push these tears away. do you even know how empty i feel. this is not purely the cry of a girl who is emotionally driven but a girl who is need of love and attention. i crave for these lost feelings. you know how things are at home, how things work in my family, and you know how much i need you. and its not even the money that matters.
baby have i already become a shadow of your life, something you regard as a burden?
So close..
Sunday, June 8, 2008♥
wrecked ♥ 12:19 AM
i dont know where ive gone wrong seriously. Honey, if you would just know how terrible i feel inside and how much im tearing apart inside. I wanna talk to you, tell you everything, but would you even spare me the time to seek these answers to the questions of my heart? It is always the same comments coming from you. If it is so true, why do
i still feel the heartache? it is as if the hole in my heart is getting bigger. You asked me to be the one to take the effort to bring us together, but why is it that i feel like you want me to do otherwise? it is as if the more i try, the more drifted we become. what happened in between, what exactly is it, because i am lost.
So close..
Saturday, June 7, 2008♥
bgirls ♥ 11:38 PM
(taken eons ago)
babygrrl i miss you. thanks for accompanying me to get the much needed laptop case. its been a really long time that we meet up. we really must do this often. thanks for being a great listener. =D love ya so much
So close..
Friday, June 6, 2008♥
oh my god ♥ 11:27 PM
M to Farhana
.. At da end of da day i still like u! =D
M to Farhana
I noe ya attch but i still like u. Lets keep it between ourselves alrite. No one noes xcept 4 ma sis.
So close..
(taken eons ago)