mr rockstar: do you think we can still go out together and stuff?mr rockstar: like hang out n stuffs, spend time togetherfarhana: its too late. for everything, or anything
dear mr rockstar,
it was never a misunderstanding. i believed it is clear that action speaks louder than words, and no matter how many words are uttered, i think you have made your stand clear right from the beginning with the way you treated/mistreated me. i can never be an equal to your friends. even months after the relationship was left hanging, i remembered clearly begging, crying, whining for any last bit of attention that you could have spared to me, but you decided to prolonged your egocentric behaviour.you even said that this is all too much of a drama, yet you being the star, you refused to come back. yes, i am afterall farhana, just a girl that you could have picked on the street, but i stripped myself off my dignity and swallowed my pride, trying every last bit to hold on to what was left. remember a year ago, i sprouted this - "boys like you make girls like me feel like we are not or never will be good enough for you" and during that cathartic period, i did feel that way. why did i feel so shitty when i didnt even do anything wrong. but now i realised, "the loss was never on my part". in order to have you back in my life, i said "ok, you dont have to be nice to me, and to be manja with me." i thought i could push everything away, my life, friends, parents, and best of all, change my lifestyle because you thought it was inappropriate for you to go out with someone who always party and that i wasnt right for your future. then i realised, why do all that? "you let me go when i was at my lowest point. if you couldnt handle me when i was at my worst, what more when im happy, up and about. you only came back when things starting fitting back into the right places." god told me, move on. and ive moved on finally.